"The following piece of useless literature is intended for individuals who are fun-loving and can take a joke, if you are not that person; please return to your "Political Reform- Fixing a Broken America" chatroom and continue your mission." Author
Its that time of year again, the first OMA round is fast approaching and riders are chomping at the bit. Round 1 will be unique in that it will be co-sanctioned with the KY Off Road Hare Scrambles series. The champion of that series is non-other than yours truly. Now I have been working at getting myself into shape with intentions on doing well, but so have a lot of others from the area; so OMA regulars, if you think these old KY boys are just going to roll over and play dead, you got another thing coming. I spoke with my old buddy Marty Michels on the phone the other day and here is what he had to say about the up coming round...
MM "Yeah, I have ridden a few of the events before, and really enjoyed myself and would like to do some more of them this year."
AW "So......... you got any predictions or hopes for your results, are you ready?"
MM "Absolutely, I have no idea how well I will do, but just want to ride my best. I feel really good on my new KTM supported 300XC and hope to do well!"
AW "Soooo, your not going to talk any crap?"
MM "No"
AW "Okay, well good luck and we'll see ya soon.
MM "See ya buddy."
Second Interview: Brock Sims AKA "The Blizzard"
AW "Brock tell me about that nickname. Is it because your have ice water running in your viens?"
BS "Well, the name was given to me by Tucker, its because I went into Dairy Queen and ask for sponsorship."
AW "So any free burgers?
BS "No but I got a $500 check to represent."
AW "Wow, I can't even get my burgers fixed right! Are you ready for the first OMA, are you ready to be Dairy Queen's champion poster boy?"
BS "I hope so but I'm not expecting anything extra-ordinary, but I hope to do well."
AW "Thanks Brock but a little advice, your fast so get in there and go for it. Don't wait around all season for everyone to blow their knee's out like I did last year."
BS "Thanks Al, so how about your family business. Are you interested in sponsoring a good looking, all American championship contender?
AW "Interview is over kid. See ya around!"
Third Interview: The #1 factory Suzuki Super Star! Jimmy "The Rat" Jarrett
Attempt #1:
Message on Jimmy's phone :
AW "Jimmy, hey guy I need a few comments from you for an interview, call me back!"
Attempt#2 Using my internet stalking skills, I hacked into the world of Myspace:
AW "Hey Jimmy, I finally found you, so what about a few *interrupting message reads- Hey there, My name is Starla and I'm single!* comments about your new ride and your ambitions for the year?"
AW "Starla, leave me alone, you robotic trap!"
Attempt #3 Myspace message #2
AW "Jimmy-crack-corn-and-I-don't-care-Jimmy-crack-corn..... ha ha. See it will be fun Jimmy come on message me back!"
Oh well, if I had a factory ride, I would be out working to keep it too, not messing with the internet. Everybody is pretty excited for the champ to finally get what he deserves. Go Jim, and make us proud.
Speaking of MySpace, it was like opening Pandora's Box. I found everyone I have ever known, everyone I would ever want to know, and everyone I hope I never know. Everybody on there has won a national championship- its amazing. We didn't have that growing up, My space was out in the field at a young age picking up chunks of drift wood after the spring rains or topping tobacco so we could buy a crapped out KDX that "needs a little work." These kids are saying they race for a living, when in reality, the most work they have possibly ever done is walking across the living room to Daddys out stretched hand full of Ben Franklin's. Personally, I would love to see these up and coming racers get serious about some form of post secondary education. Take it from one of us hundreds of racers who thought we were "the next big thing". There's nothing wrong with living a dream, but live it in moderation -with a solid back up plan.
I ran into England's Jason Thomas at a local race the other day. He is still healing from a broken hand he contracted from Six Days but it promises to be %100 very soon. Chris Bach also made the line-up. His knee is all healed up and he is back to his old self again and riding very well. From what I understand, Chris and Derek Spangler have been practicing and training together getting ready to make an assault on the competition this year. In fact, I found a training video that reminded me of the boys. Check out "The Dirt Bike Training Video"
That's all for now. Good day and Ride Safe.
Signing off, Alan Westerfield #4
